And it begins...

Up until now, I have been daughter, friend, girlfriend, wife, mother, career woman for a short time, student, and well you get the idea. I am all of these things still (minus the career woman part)but there comes a point where you ask yourself...well, what about me? I am all these things and have devoted myself to be all of these things, but even a person who loves their life, as I do, wonder where I fit in. Even the best mother or wife needs to have some part of herself where she can say, 'I did that just for me'. This year, I will turn 30 and I have done some of the things I have wanted to do with my life, but I still wonder if there was more I could do or even still do. Those who know me know that I strive to help anyone and everyone who needs me. I am always there, no matter what. Some call it compassion, others call it..., but for me, it's just being who I am. With that being said, I have felt lately that I may not be doing enough in this department. A feeling of unfulfillable, so to speak. The last part of 2010, I had come across an article about military wives. Being an ex-military wife myself, I tend to always read anything about these topics, just to keep abreast of what is going on. This particular article was talking about surrogacy and how more and more military wives were becoming surrogates. After reading that, I thought, 'That's it'. Of course, me just saying that, does not make it happen instantaneously. After I read that article, I started to research anything I could about surrogacy. From what I found, the best places to find information about this, is to look at the actual surrogate agencies. 

During my research, I found a surrogacy agency here in San Antonio. Surrogate Angels of San Antonio. (http://web.me.com/cori_smelker/Surrogate_Angels_of_San_Antonio/Welcome.html) This agency is run by a wonderful couple, who have been extremely helpful and supportive throughout this process. I am so glad that I chose this agency as they are hands on and definitely there if I have questions or concerns or just someone to talk to. 

Only once I found the agency, did I start talking to David about it. I didn’t want to go to him and say hey, I want to do this, but have no information about it, so I will have to get back to you about any questions you may have. That just doesn’t cut it for me. Of course, when I said, Hey honey, I want to be a Surrogate, he looked at me like I had been possessed by something. Not saying that my husband thinks this is a bad idea; he has been nothing but supportive. He just knows that I have this huge issue with vanity and being pregnant with our children made it really bad! Lol. BUT, like I told him, I lost all of my weight after each kid. I think I can pull off doing it again, plus I hope to actually use this time to really push myself to eating better (as it is someone else’s kid I will be carrying…extra special care needs to be taken!), so hopefully the weight gain will not be as monstrous as my prior pregnancies. 

So, to recap what has gone on to this day. Application process was simple enough. I was not as nervous about meeting Cori and discussing the surrogacy process and if I was a good fit for this path as I was for my first meeting with the intended parents (no, I will not be disclosing their names). I think I rubbed David’s hand raw during that interview! Meeting the intended parents was extremely nerve racking. I believe I was that nervous due to the fact that 1) I did not know what to expect and 2) I really wanted to be picked and when you want something bad enough and have a case of the worries like I do, nervousness comes with the package. But, I guess I didn’t really have anything to be nervous about as the day after meeting with them, I was told that they wanted me to carry their child for them! I was in awe! I really thought I bombed the interview due to lots of ‘ums’ and nervous gestures. LOL. But, here we are! David had a lot more faith in me than I did, (which, what else are hubbies for?!) so he felt I would be picked. 

Once I was picked, I had some testing to do. Normal physical testing, to make sure everything is exactly as it should be. I passed! Lol. The second part was a psychological test, which I was nervous about. I know there are a few of you who ask as to how I can do this and not get attached to the baby. Well, 1) not my baby to begin with. Just because I am carrying does not mean it is mine. 2) I SO do not want any more kids of my own! Will I feel an attachment, probably, but only as like an aunt of some form. I think this helped me with the entire psych eval, along with honest answers for a lot of different questions. David keeps saying we are ‘normal’ (whatever that means) and I guess he is right! I guess I really didn’t have anything to be nervous about, though you could have fooled me at the time!

Once I passed all the necessary tests, I got to start the drugs! ;) So far, I have been on only a few things, but more are to come! One of the drugs requires me to inject it into my stomach. I thought it would be a big deal to give myself a shot, but in all honesty, it is a lot easier than I realized. Of course, I have yet to start the shot that goes into my hip! Lol. 

More tests were done just last week. I found out that I have really long fallopian tubes. The way the doc said it made me think that this is not a normal thing to have. Hey, maybe I am unique?! It is possible that if all goes well, we may do the transfer next month some time (fingers crossed all goes well!). 

This entire experience I know will be worthwhile and such a fun adventure. I am definitely glad I am who I am!

Thanks for reading and until next time…