New Beginning, New Slate

We are beginning again! Yay! Not sure yet as to when all this will begin, but it has started. Birth control pills first and then the many shots. I am really excited about all of this and extremely positive. This will take and my intended parents will have the baby they have always wanted! Yay!

Thanks for all  your support and understanding!
@~>

Things that can't really be explained

Today has been one of those days that gets added to my list of saddest days ever. I had an ultrasound today and found out that I had a miscarriage around 6 weeks. I would have been 8 weeks or so today. This isn't something that can be explained or anything that can help us better understand. It just wasn't time. I am still trying to convince myself that it isn't my fault. I'm getting there, but I have never been through this before, so I am taking it a bit harder than necessary. Since family is in town this weekend, we had planned on Sea World today. I went in order to 1) not be left alone. I really did not want to be alone today. 2) I needed something to take my mind off of everything. It didn't always work, but at least the puffy eyes went away for a bit. I am canceling all activities for this week, besides one as I am really not in the mood to socialize. Will we try again? Most definitely. I am going to look to the positive side and know that the next time will be perfect.

Thanks for reading.

More Randomness

So I have recently decided to be positive, no matter what the case is, from now on. No more negativity! Which also equals, no more complaining about tummy issues. hehe. With my own kids, I won't say I complained all the time, but if I didn't feel good, people would definitely know about it. That is going to change with this one and any others I have hear on out. Heck, life in general is going to be all about happy, joyful things.  I think we base way too much on what is wrong with us and our lives instead of being grateful for what we do have. Life is actually a lot easier than we make it out to be.  Anyways...that's not why you are reading, right?! ;-)

Like I said, no more complaining, but I will say that this little one is hungry.  Now, it could be the mixture of everything I am taking along with the pregnancy, but most of the time (there have been a couple of days this week that have not been too bad), I will have just eaten either a snack or meal (trying for at least 4 meals a day, smaller portions) and I still feel hungry within an hour afterwords! It's really kinda funny!

Also, I get to meet this little one's grandparents this weekend! Exciting! They are also bringing me REAL mexican food! How fun is that?! The parents want to ensure that my cravings are indeed met! LOVE IT! ;-)

Life is good!

Ultrasound results

As you should know, I had the ultrasound today. What we saw was pretty much a little peanut. lol. But there is only one little one in there (we are sad to hear that, but happy that at least one is in there!) We have another ultrasound set for the 22nd where we should be able to hear the heartbeat and take measurements and so on. This is definitely a fun time.  I love that everything is falling into place without a hitch.  I have been told that first time surrogates normally take a couple of transfers before a fertilized egg takes hold.  I am so happy that, that isn't the case.  I want my parents to have their little bundle of joy and not have to have any type of heartache along the way. Definitely going to be taking extreme care from now until this little one is born!

Thanks for all your support!

Cravings or are they?

Thought I would post something kind of minor in comparison to the rest of the blogs, more for my benefit than anything else! lol. I have a horrible memory (I think I did it to myself a long time ago, but that is another story), so if I start to write things down that happens during this pregnancy, I will hopefully remember better for next time ;-)

I have been trying to remember my cravings lately with my kids and comparing the differences.  It's amazing really, how different each pregnancy can be.  Of course, this one is different, due to the fact that this lil one isn't mine, but still.  My three babies, each had their own ideas as to what mommy would crave while pregnant. Devin was lots and lots of chicken and any way I can cook it, which he still eats the most to this day. Ethen was everything in sight. That child was always hungry, even before he was born. Though he did change some of my taste buds. Never was really into mustard, but once I was pregnant with him, that went out the window. He loves anything that revolves around condiments...wait, he just loves food and all that it entails really. He is the only child that isn't picky, like the rest of us (minus David).  Chloe was all about broccoli and potatoes. It's really no wonder she loves french fries!

I haven't narrowed down the cravings as of yet with this one. They keep bouncing really.  Though I will say that I am not into eating my chocolate like I normally am.  Maybe, just maybe, with this pregnancy I won't have that horrible need to have junk food! :-) Wishful thinking, I know, but I can hope. Normally anything chocolate does not last long if near me, but lately it has been lasting longer than normal.  Could be I am just watching my intake better. Also, I have been craving mexican food a lot more lately.  Now, don't get me wrong, I can eat Mexican food just about everyday. I have always loved it. But we are normally really watchful of where we eat out, money wise, so what I normally get is from Taco Bell instead of actual Mexican food....well aside from Freebirds. Freebirds is AWESOME! But if we want to do really cheap, we go to TB.  But I have been wanting the whole shabang when it comes to Mexican, rice, beans, the great seasoning of picadillo or whatever I decide at the time to put on the tacos, or gorditas, or whatever. lol. Even talking about it all, it makes me hungry and want some! lol.

The other thing that has been happening a lot lately is that I have been waking up in the middle of the night, starving! It feels like I haven't eaten anything in the last 24 hrs, which is not true! I have been really good at having 4-5 portions of food a day, of course not huge portions. But that feeling reminds me so much of Ethen, it's kinda funny. I guess something is similar!

Tomorrow I go in for the ultrasound, to make sure everything is okay in there! Working on being extremely positive and hopefully all will be well tomorrow!

Thanks for reading! Have a great one!

2nd blood test

After my horrible experience last time, they took special care today! Now I will say that the bruise is not as bad as I had expected it to be (it hurt that much!), so that has to be a good thing. Iron is high or something! lol. But this time, there was lil pain and I really don't think I will bruise.  I could go a little while, tho, before another blood test!  The tests came back exactly how we wanted them. My beta count was over 400, so a nice raise. Thinking there might only be one baby in there! But either way, I am pregnant and I know the parents are ecstatic! I think this is really the best gift anyone can give someone.  I am really excited to be able to do this for them!

We have the ultrasound set for April 8th! We will see and make sure that everything is as it should be.

I have been feeling all wonky.  I know there are those who just have symptoms of nausea and really no reason behind it, but I am so used to knowing what is causing my nausea! With my three, I was able to pinpoint what was upsetting me enough to avoid further trips to the bathroom.  This time, not so much. I think I am just having those symptoms with no reason other than I am pregnant and having morning sickness (tho sometimes its afternoon sickness or evening sickness! lol).  I am really not complaining.  Just acknowledging that this is way different than I am used to.  I guess we do get to learn new things no matter where we are in life! ;-)

Hubby got to take the day off from giving me my shots as I was out and had to have it done at the clinic this morning.  Though he is doing really well with them, he still hates that he has to do it.  I just cannot bring myself to do them.  Poor guy!

Thanks again for all your support. Though I would have still gone through with this, with out without the support, as it is something I really wanted to do, it is so much better and happier experience with the support you all have shown me!  Very much appreciated.

The Results are in!

I am Pregnant! :-)

They had to take some blood today, which really hurt. They had to dig to find my vein...that is not comfy! My arm will probably be bruised! lol. But the results state that I have a beta of 133, which indicates that I am definitely pregnant! YAY!

I go back on Monday to make certain that my numbers are doubling like they should be and then we will plan on an ultrasound soon after that.

Last night I was anxious, so sleep was not as forthcoming as it should have been. I think now that I have had such great news, I may be able to take a much needed nap! ;-)

Thanks for all your support!