Things that can't really be explained

Today has been one of those days that gets added to my list of saddest days ever. I had an ultrasound today and found out that I had a miscarriage around 6 weeks. I would have been 8 weeks or so today. This isn't something that can be explained or anything that can help us better understand. It just wasn't time. I am still trying to convince myself that it isn't my fault. I'm getting there, but I have never been through this before, so I am taking it a bit harder than necessary. Since family is in town this weekend, we had planned on Sea World today. I went in order to 1) not be left alone. I really did not want to be alone today. 2) I needed something to take my mind off of everything. It didn't always work, but at least the puffy eyes went away for a bit. I am canceling all activities for this week, besides one as I am really not in the mood to socialize. Will we try again? Most definitely. I am going to look to the positive side and know that the next time will be perfect.

Thanks for reading.

More Randomness

So I have recently decided to be positive, no matter what the case is, from now on. No more negativity! Which also equals, no more complaining about tummy issues. hehe. With my own kids, I won't say I complained all the time, but if I didn't feel good, people would definitely know about it. That is going to change with this one and any others I have hear on out. Heck, life in general is going to be all about happy, joyful things.  I think we base way too much on what is wrong with us and our lives instead of being grateful for what we do have. Life is actually a lot easier than we make it out to be.  Anyways...that's not why you are reading, right?! ;-)

Like I said, no more complaining, but I will say that this little one is hungry.  Now, it could be the mixture of everything I am taking along with the pregnancy, but most of the time (there have been a couple of days this week that have not been too bad), I will have just eaten either a snack or meal (trying for at least 4 meals a day, smaller portions) and I still feel hungry within an hour afterwords! It's really kinda funny!

Also, I get to meet this little one's grandparents this weekend! Exciting! They are also bringing me REAL mexican food! How fun is that?! The parents want to ensure that my cravings are indeed met! LOVE IT! ;-)

Life is good!

Ultrasound results

As you should know, I had the ultrasound today. What we saw was pretty much a little peanut. lol. But there is only one little one in there (we are sad to hear that, but happy that at least one is in there!) We have another ultrasound set for the 22nd where we should be able to hear the heartbeat and take measurements and so on. This is definitely a fun time.  I love that everything is falling into place without a hitch.  I have been told that first time surrogates normally take a couple of transfers before a fertilized egg takes hold.  I am so happy that, that isn't the case.  I want my parents to have their little bundle of joy and not have to have any type of heartache along the way. Definitely going to be taking extreme care from now until this little one is born!

Thanks for all your support!

Cravings or are they?

Thought I would post something kind of minor in comparison to the rest of the blogs, more for my benefit than anything else! lol. I have a horrible memory (I think I did it to myself a long time ago, but that is another story), so if I start to write things down that happens during this pregnancy, I will hopefully remember better for next time ;-)

I have been trying to remember my cravings lately with my kids and comparing the differences.  It's amazing really, how different each pregnancy can be.  Of course, this one is different, due to the fact that this lil one isn't mine, but still.  My three babies, each had their own ideas as to what mommy would crave while pregnant. Devin was lots and lots of chicken and any way I can cook it, which he still eats the most to this day. Ethen was everything in sight. That child was always hungry, even before he was born. Though he did change some of my taste buds. Never was really into mustard, but once I was pregnant with him, that went out the window. He loves anything that revolves around condiments...wait, he just loves food and all that it entails really. He is the only child that isn't picky, like the rest of us (minus David).  Chloe was all about broccoli and potatoes. It's really no wonder she loves french fries!

I haven't narrowed down the cravings as of yet with this one. They keep bouncing really.  Though I will say that I am not into eating my chocolate like I normally am.  Maybe, just maybe, with this pregnancy I won't have that horrible need to have junk food! :-) Wishful thinking, I know, but I can hope. Normally anything chocolate does not last long if near me, but lately it has been lasting longer than normal.  Could be I am just watching my intake better. Also, I have been craving mexican food a lot more lately.  Now, don't get me wrong, I can eat Mexican food just about everyday. I have always loved it. But we are normally really watchful of where we eat out, money wise, so what I normally get is from Taco Bell instead of actual Mexican food....well aside from Freebirds. Freebirds is AWESOME! But if we want to do really cheap, we go to TB.  But I have been wanting the whole shabang when it comes to Mexican, rice, beans, the great seasoning of picadillo or whatever I decide at the time to put on the tacos, or gorditas, or whatever. lol. Even talking about it all, it makes me hungry and want some! lol.

The other thing that has been happening a lot lately is that I have been waking up in the middle of the night, starving! It feels like I haven't eaten anything in the last 24 hrs, which is not true! I have been really good at having 4-5 portions of food a day, of course not huge portions. But that feeling reminds me so much of Ethen, it's kinda funny. I guess something is similar!

Tomorrow I go in for the ultrasound, to make sure everything is okay in there! Working on being extremely positive and hopefully all will be well tomorrow!

Thanks for reading! Have a great one!